.| UrbanNerd |.

Hello, my name is Paul, affectionately known as Cousinpaulie. I am a blood relative of this sites creator Neil Barton. I have been invited by him to share my sometimes-warped sense of the world with all his readers. I have found over the years that there is no gray area with me, either you love me, or hate me.

I will be bringing with me to this site a wealth of knowledge on hundreds of useless facts, and years of experience in wasting time.

I hope that you find my posts informative, enjoyable, and funny.

According to Howard 100 news and buzzmachine.com, Howard has been suspended tomorrow?!! If you know me, then you know I am a Huge Howard Fan (as is my wife). If you do not know me, well now you know! There is no man who is more of a champion of free speech on the airwaves today than Howard.

This from buzzmachine.com:

An eagle-eyed, rabbit-eared reader says that Sirius’ Howard 100 News is reporting that Howard Stern has been suspended tomorrow. I know nothing more yet; if you do, let me know. They’ve been bleeping like mad. It reached new levels of absurdity today as they bleeped the word “black” before hair and came in the studio to tell Fifty Cent that he had to stop saying “bitches.”

It is confirmed from HowardStern.com:

Sources tell Howard 100 News that Infinity Broadcasting has issued a one-day suspension to Howard Stern… for talking about Sirius Satellite Radio TOO MUCH! K-rock General Manager Tom Chiusano made the announcement as The Howard Stern Show was ending Monday morning. Stay tuned to Howard 100 News throughout the day… we’ll be providing live updates as information becomes available. Then join us at 6:00 eastern time for complete, in-depth coverage of Howard’s suspension. Howard 100 News will have all the details on how and why this happened… Howard’s history of suspensions… reaction from Sterns fans and the Wack-Packers… and what happens next! Only on HOWARD 100 NEWS can you get all the inside details on Howard’s suspension from old-fashioned radio.

Hang in there Howard, I have already purchased my Sirius Satellite Radio!

What the fuck? You killed Smurfette!!! You bastards!!!!

Can we declare war on UNICEF now for this? Aren’t the Smurfs a protected indigenous people living within the United States? Doesn’t that mean that we can now bomb someone back??

No… I have not gone crazy. Unicef is REALLY showing a commercial (in Belgium? who knew that was such a Smurf hot spot) that shows Smurf’s being bombed.

Click here for article
Click here for video

Correction: After reviewing the wikipedia entry on Smurfs, it turns out that even though the smurfs speak perfect English, they are actually from Europe. Oh well, Europe gets bombed from time to time, what are you gonna do?

But I was busy okay? Anyway, I am back.

According to this article at physorg.com, some mice are lose in my homestate of NJ and *OOPS* they have the plague!

The mice were discovered missing from separate cages at a bioterrorism research facility in Newark more than two weeks ago, but the incident was only confirmed Wednesday by the Newark (N.J.) Star-Ledger.

Don’t be too worried though:

Scientists, however, said with modern antibiotics, plague can be treated if quickly diagnosed and is not the scourge that wiped out a third of Europe during the 14th century.

This is a REAL ad, placed in the NY Times and I just love it. Here is the begining of the ad:

Job Title: Lazy, uneducated, careless persons
Employer: wsw
Location: New York, NY
Date Posted: 08-11-2005
Job Type: Full Time Contract

Growing profitable respected tech company seeks people without any sort of completed college degree (and who misspell bachelors), to arrive in the office not at scheduled times but rather when they see fit and after arrival to proceed to do as little as humanly possible and never learn anything.

We’re not picky on the completion thing here so if we ask for a university graduate, and you once attended a class or might possibly plan to at some point in time, please go right ahead and apply. Our specific needs/wants and especially our time is worthless. Only you matter.

Further, we ask that you send a totally irrelevant generic cover letter (possibly including a title for a different job or often a different company’s name) that mentions you possess a very special talent and can speak the language of the country you were born and raised in before you came here and that utterly ignores the topic you were asked to address in the cover letter.

It is obviously worth the read

I saw this on FARK, the headline just struck me funny. Anyway, here is the story.

You can now click to register as a user on the left hand side which will enable you to write stories and submit them directly (without emailing me) by clicking the “submit news item” link. They will be held in queue for me to publish, so there will be a slight delay before they show up. Also, I will be adding a links section soon, so if anyone has links they think might be particularly useful for scooter info, please let me know. I am going to try to compile a nicely organized useful links areas for scootering.